THE BITCH AND THE BASTARD
Those familiar with Jungian or analytical psychology will know of the work Carl Jung created around the Persona, Shadow, Anima/Animus and the Self. The concept focuses on the different conscious and unconscious parts that make up our personality. You can read a brief overview here.
Jungian psychology and the archetypes that derive from it have had their fair share of criticisms, but one of the theories that always got my attention was that of the Shadow. That part of our personality that we try to suppress from public view is very much a part of who we are. I often laugh when I hear leaders and managers telling their colleagues that they should bring their whole selves to work. I think to myself “Are you ready for that smoke?”
I guess it would be fair to say that many of us would not want to share the dark side of who we are. That could be very dangerous if left unleashed or without some kind of boundary. But on the flip side, standing your ground doesn’t have to go from zero to one hundred, does it?
So let’s explore some of this shadow
You come into work and someone puts a meeting in your diary without even consulting you. And you tap into that energy of yours like “Bitch, you don’t own me!” and decline the invite. OK be honest, your default is panic and anxiety thinking about how you want to respond, but what if the bitch (a gender-neutral term here my friends) in you wants to just cancel it because that is not the best time for you? What is to stop you from pressing decline because you have another priority? What you are afraid of upsetting or offending others over your own feelings?
Why can’t you tap into that bitch side of you that holds their own, speaks their truth and is not afraid of conflict?
How many times have you felt like doing the above but wanted to make everyone feel all nice around you?
I have often wondered what it would be like to be a total utter bastard too. To be so driven by reaching a goal that I would make my point clear, rally troops to help me get to that goal and scorch the earth with those who got in the way of progress. In a world where opportunities have passed me by because I have been the nice guy, I have wondered what it would be like to tap into being a ruthless and utter cockwomble, in order to achieve my goals.
For those of you who are currently clutching pearls and wondering what the heck has happened to me allow me to explain the method to my madness.
I am not saying that you have to be a total bitch or bastard at work, and I am definitely not advocating doing things that will result in harm to others. However, I would say that we all have a moment where we wonder what it would take to just tap into that shadow as a means of holding our boundaries, saying no and not being afraid of conflict.
It is often that the dark side is the one holding the boundaries. That little devil on our shoulder that whispers “Don’t take that shit from them” and gets you wondering about how you would do things differently than don’t leave you disempowered.
Why can’t we play with the dark side a little? Why does it always have to be the polite, people pleaser part of our personality that mixes it up a bit?
(Disclaimer. This piece is tongue in cheek. Or is it? Deep dirty laugh)
