Don’t Get A Coach

I spent this morning at my house talking to my mentor Liam about the next steps for the business. We usually go for a walk, but I am recovering from an injury to a sciatic nerve in my back which has slowed me TF down.

As I shared my thoughts with him, he gave some feedback which borne of experience got me really thinking about not only what I am going to do but how I am going to do it. Having a mentor who is good at listening but also not afraid to challenge me, and my ego, in order to look at the best options available is priceless. I don’t want a yes person but I also don’t want someone who thinks they have all the answers, but rather someone who wants me to trust them enough as a guide to get to the next level.

 It got me thinking a lot about people who I have had the joy of mentoring and coaching over the years. In the main it is wonderful to work alongside some incredibly gifted people working in the arts, media and entertainment, finance, professional services, FFMGC, energy and technology and see their potential realised because they have trusted me enough to use my tools (and my network) to really elevate themselves.

Most of these people you will never know who they are because often this role is best when you are in the background. Nothing worse than someone seeing an individual becoming successful and then they think that you are like some wizard casting spells that they can also benefit from.

Mentoring and coaching has seen me work with talented individuls who took their self confidence to another level, secured TV shows, got job promotions, landed seven and eight figure investments, nailed high stake presentations and leveraged incredible change and strategic programmes.

On the flip side though. I probably walk away from most people who ask me to be their mentor or coach, because the alignment is not on. And it got me thinking why some people should not get a coach or a mentor.

Walk with me.

Don’t get a coach.
Don’t get a mentor.
Don’t sign up for another programme, mastermind or accountability group.

Not unless you're willing to do one thing first and that is, take responsibility.

We live in an age where coaching has exploded. Executive coaches, mindset coaches, business coaches, life coaches, wellness coaches. It's an industry full of inspiration, but it's also full of illusions.

And here’s the truth most won’t tell you.
Coaching doesn’t work if you don’t.

So before you invest your time, energy, or money in a coach or mentor, consider this

1. Don’t get a coach if you don’t trust the process.

If you’re going to second-guess every suggestion, resist every reflection, and sit with crossed arms waiting to be convinced, if that’s the case, save your money. Coaching isn’t about control. It’s about collaboration. Trust is the currency. Without it, nothing meaningful is exchanged.

2. Don’t get a coach if you’re not prepared to do the work.

There’s no shortcut to transformation. A coach can shine the light, but you have to walk the path. You’ll be asked to reflect, be challenged, confront your blind spots, and change habits. If that sounds uncomfortable, it should. That’s the point.

3. Don’t get a coach if you expect them to rescue you.

Coaches aren’t magicians. They won’t fix your team, rewrite your strategy, or build your confidence overnight. They’re not there to save you,  they’re there to remind you that you can save yourself.

4. Don’t get a coach if your ego can’t take feedback.

The best coaches will challenge your thinking, not stroke your ego. If every insight is met with defensiveness, the coaching space becomes performative, not transformational. Growth demands humility.

5. Don’t get a coach if you’re collecting credentials, not outcomes.

Coaching isn’t a status symbol. It’s not a LinkedIn flex or a tick-box for leadership. It’s a commitment to change,  measured not by the price you paid, but by the shifts you made.

6. Don’t get a coach if you aren’t willing to invest in yourself.
My coaching is premium. I do so not just because I believe I am good but I do so because it is important for clients to recognise the investment is not just money, but time and energy too.

Coaching, at its best, is a catalyst — not a crutch.

So don’t get a coach if you’re not ready to get real.

Don’t get a mentor if you’re not willing to be mentored.

Don’t seek guidance if all you really want is praise.

But…

If you are ready to take responsibility, to trust the process, to do the deep, unglamorous work of growth then find the right guide, and when you do, show up fully, because transformation isn’t something you’re given. It’s something you earn.