NETWORKING ON YOUR TERMS
have been discussing the value of networking recently. Given the festive season is upon us, I understand many who are dreading having to go to events and speak to people they don’t want to, be subjected to the “Why don’t you drink?” interrogation, and forever be thinking of an answer to the question, ”So what do you do?”
Networking is all about connecting with other professionals for mutual benefit. The ideal scenario is one where we share insights, ideas, connections and sometimes (but not always) leads for work or business.
Networking can happen anywhere
There’s a common misconception that networking only happens at “networking events”. And it can be that pressure and expectation that often puts people off or makes them anxious about networking. Networking can happen anywhere. Any event (formal or informal) where more than two humans meet is an opportunity for networking and building connections. Heck, I have made some good connections at weddings and funerals.
How to network effectively
A simple rule of thumb for me is to first find out about the person I’m talking to. By this, I mean glean more than their job title and place of work. I would like to know more about who you are and your way of thinking before I ask about your work. More importantly, establish whether the person you’ve approached wants to talk. There have been times I have been told no. And so I bounce. I prefer to hear that, to be honest, than someone pretends to be interested. Once that’s been established, there are some easy setup questions I draw on (rephrase as you wish):
How did you come to be at this event?
How do you know [insert host’s name]?
What do you think of the event so far?
And remember, there is no pressure to keep talking. If I feel the conversation has come to its natural conclusion, I wish them well and keep it moving. “It was a pleasure to meet you, all the best”. I am not hanging with you in awkward silence. In the words of HRH: You’re not a tree. You can move.
I love connecting people and playing matchmaker (in the non-romantic sense). I will happily introduce people if I see threads of interest, whether work or a common interest I’ve picked up on between conversations. I’m usually good with names, but on the rare occasion, I’m honest and say, “I have had a mind fart, and the name is gone, so I will leave you to introduce yourselves”, and I exit stage left. Responses are mixed. Lol.
Networking should be comfortable
When I curate events, be it my dining clubs, conferences, live seminars, or even social events that I host, I always remind people they are under no pressure to connect. But it may make for a more interesting experience.
The best conversations usually start with nothing to do with work. Entering these situations knowing that immediately broadens your scope of conversation. Talk about what you enjoy rather than what you specialise in. If these are the same, good for you, but if not, also good for you.
If at a dinner, talk about the meal you just ate. If you flew in from another country to attend the event, talk about your journey, the cultural differences you’ve picked up on, etc. The possibilities are plenty once you remove the ringfence of work-related topics only.
For me, networking should be on your terms, whether in person or online (e.g. LinkedIn). You should feel comfortable connecting with people and have some commonality or shared interest. It is not, for either party, a sales pitch. Networking is an opportunity to meet other fascinating humans, build stronger connections and create opportunities for mutual benefit.
So the next time you receive an invite to something, don’t dismiss it immediately. Make your decision based on your availability or whether you’ll enjoy the occasion. But don’t miss out on a great time because you think networking is not for you.
