A M E L I O R A T E

Ameliorate
Verb: to make (something bad or unsatisfactory) better.

I had a flashback the other day to a sermon I preached in my early 20s.

It was probably the most homophobic content to ever come spewing out of my mouth. I broke down the concept of one flesh in Hebrew. Echad and Basar. Impressing upon my audience the recurring theme of cleaving. Of God’s divinity being separated into two humans so that they could unite together in oneness and become divine again. Male and female in all their heterosexual glory.

For me, it was important to impress on my audience the knowledge I possessed and the clarity with which I could share that knowledge.

Hermeneutics aside, I had no idea of the impact of my speaking. That my rhetoric would leave some in my audience battling with their sense of identity around their sexuality. That a few words could eradicate a sense of belonging and instil fear in one of the few places where we are all told to feel welcomed and safe. Whilst it is no excuse, during the time which that sermon took place, I was very much the product of my environment. Carrying on a tradition of promoting sexual purity through a biblical and religious lens. I was inconsiderate of the wider messaging of homophobia in my content and delivery.

Though I have since moved on and no longer subscribe to religion, I thought back to this sermon and how I would pick up the pieces of that commentary, after having a recent conversation with my youngest daughter. We were discussing the amount of heat and social media attention a young lady received after stating in an interview that “we all have the same twenty-four hours in a day?” I wondered aloud if this 22-year-old would have been treated differently if she didn’t have such a platform. I wondered about others who made comments from a position of privilege with blind spots to other people’s experiences. I wondered about my twenty something self and whether I should have known better. I wondered about those who were more experienced than me, and the guidance and reflection they would give about how I spoke “my truth”.

It got me thinking about how quick people are to jump into conversations and give their opinion, completely unsolicited. There is no sign of the Socratic method of dialogue - where one explores the content to build a counter-argument, but rather many just take a purely dismissive position. Assumptions and projections seem to be the order of the day. And as we gather support through likes and shares, we take an even higher ground, often declaring why we are so right and why everyone who disagrees is wrong. Totally missing the irony along the way.

I suggested to my daughter that we place way too many expectations on people, just because they currently occupy the spotlight. Easy targets for the fast typing fingers and quick content sharing platforms that social media has afforded us. But what if we stopped a moment to think it through? Like how many people have repeated mantras and motivational quotes that are just as harmful? How many online celebrities have said things that are “their truth” but mean absolutely nothing to those of us with different experiences? Why do we jump all over a snippet of an interview but take less time to balance it out with the said person’s advocacy and personal journey with endometriosis?

This is not to say that people can say anything online and avoid consequences. But I wonder how much consideration is given to the age, experience and cultural norms of the person who said that really bad thing? After all, context is everything.

What if Twitter, Instagram or TikTok were around when I gave that sermon. Would I have spoken with the same vim, or would I have been hyperconscious about how my words would be received in front of a different audience? What about at a later, more progressive point in time? Would I find myself giving apology tours to the end of my days? Who would decide how much amelioration was enough? And to whomst do I apologise?

I have said some messy shit in the past but I will be damned if I spend any time articulating, mostly to people who don’t know me or care about me, some contrite soliloquy to prevent me from being cancelled or losing income in the present day.

Going back to the Bible, if I may, I remember being a fan of a long sermon Jesus gave. It is called The Sermon on the Mount and is recorded in Matthew Chapters 5-7. In chapter 7, Jesus focuses on being mindful when casting judgment on others. To look at the plank in our eye before commenting on the speck in another. This is not to say we cannot hold a differing thought or opinion of others, but that we should be mindful and self-aware of our shortcomings when critiquing those in the public eye.

Before we seek to ameliorate the words and deeds of others, maybe we need to pause and think about how we view or have viewed the world.